June 6, night before India

the night before i go to india. it feel surreal. i doublecheck my bags and list of items to determine if theres somethigng else i should bring or should i not bring some of what i have now?
im anxious about the length of the flight. about smelling grimy when i get there. about arriving and being exhausted. about arriving and realizing id forgotton something.
im gona miss y family, we've been getting along especially well lately. im gona miss my best friend, who i ahd been in a fight with for several months and this week we had more then reconciled, spending everyday together for a week straight. im also a bit annoyed about the lack of savings i made, especially this last errand of cosmetics, was over a hundred dollars! i got the generic brands too but i realy think i needed most of those items! i offered to share with my roomate and pay half each so that should help.
i made pizza tonite, from the dough. it was delicious.
then i packed and erica wrote the items i put in. i only had one suitcase originally, then found out i could bring 2. well i hadnt had all my stuff but i didnt anticipate filling up another one. im trying to negotiate how much i can leave there. the towel, the meds, a few long skirts, the cosmetics, the sneakers. i had the last 2 weeks and thailand to think about it.
anyway, its interesting that traveling by myself is pretty low on my list of things to be nervous about. im so laid back sometimes it surprises even me. im not sure itf its bravery or just a healthy helping of -that stuff doesnt happen to me-the classic adolescent mantra.
its my moms birthday tomorrow! I'll try to be pleasant in the morning. ok well hopefully i packed verything, i have some underwear, my comp, 2 of 4 cameras and my most important stuff with me. as long as i guard that fiercely, i should be fine. :) it more concerns me to have other people worrying about me. i love my parents though, for being so excited for me :)
ok xoxo next time u hear from me mite be on the plane or maybe in INDIA!
ah wow that suddenly sounds really far away. itll be fine, i take a deep breath and turn out the light, awaiting my moms call in less than 4 hours.